Couples

Emotionally Centered Therapy

“Peace is not the absence of conflict but the easing of tension”

 Martin Luther King Jr.

 

We are hardwired for intimacy

I help clients create more intimate and fulfilling relationships. New research proves that the quality of our intimate relationships is the single most important factor in our emotional health and well-being. We are literally hard wired for close connection.

The need for deep, emotional trust: When we reach out for a partner or loved one and it appears they are not there for us, that we can’t depend on them, or we feel like we don’t matter to them, it causes us to feel helpless, isolated or alone. We seek a secure base that we can trust, a safety net and emotional sanctuary where we are held. I focus on re-establishing the relationship as a safe haven.

Emotionally Focused Therapy: I use a model called Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) which manages the disconnection and brings couples closer together. I help you learn how an inability to communicate comes from losing trust in your bond. I will help you understand how you and your partner activate each other emotionally and help you establish new emotional patterns that create a grounded sense of safety and security.

Research shows results: Through this process, 70-75 percent of couples move from distress to recovery. Approximately 90 percent show significant improvements.

Procrastination is the norm: Couples typically endure six years of problems before seeking counseling. The longer you wait, the longer painful patterns have to become rigid and the greater distress and alienation become.

Reactions are natural: Couples respond to distress by fighting, showing anger, criticizing, complaining and making demands; or by withdrawing, hiding, defending and avoiding. Both of these reflect a desire to protect the relational bond. The first represents an effort to pull your partner emotionally and the second attempts to preserve the relationship by stepping back. Both  drive you further apart. Feelings get triggered that feel hopeless. Each person asks: “Can I depend on you?” “Do I matter to you?” and “Will you be emotionally available to me?”

When you make the commitment to establishing a deep dialogue, the answer is “yes.”

Pre-Marital Counseling? Learn more.

“I used to believe that marriage would diminish me, reduce my options. That you had to be someone less, to live with someone else when, of course, you have to be someone more.”

Anne Morrow Lindbergh